When You Text During Sex

You know that thing where you’re driving, and you zone out, and suddenly you’re at your destination?  Because your body took over the routine of your familiar route, while your mind wandered?

I think eventually that’ll be like daily life.  Once the phone-device-embedded-viso-chips-Google-view-glasses of the future becomes the norm, people will get used to living their entire day-in day-out with the internet in their head.  Walking down the street with your body, using your thoughts to text message a friend while playing Angry Birds 5 through your contact lens.  You’ll wake up in the morning, boot up your cloudwebtubes into your visual field HUD whatever, and before you have thought about it too much, your body will have gone through the motions of brushing your teeth, showering, dressing, eating.  If your job is something you do via computer (office-type work) you’ll work all day while your body walks around, goes to the cafe, meets friends, drives your car.  If your job is something you do physically (manufacturing), you’ll actually have it even worse/better because your body will just subconsciously and mechanically work all day while you watch Hulu.

You’ll text your significant other back and forth, seeing the words the other one is texting you in your visual field, possibly while having sex with them.

YOU: i know its been a whole day but its great 2 see u
YOU: i know i could just say this but im out of breath ;)
YOU: <3 you
UR SWEETIE: i <3 you too sweetie
UR SWEETIE: OH MAN check this out
YOU: wut?
UR SWEETIE: just found this kama sutra video thing
YOU: let’s do it
UR SWEETIE: that feels awesome
UR SWEETIE: hey wanna plug in to my My View and see what it looks like from my angle?
YOU: sure
YOU: heh kinky
UR SWEETIE: we r so bad
UR SWEETIE: oh and before i forget heres those pix of my nephews first birthday!!!
YOU: aww

Our bodies are just vehicles, after all.

(Sorry for the switcheroo post title to draw you in.  That’s “when” as in “at the future point in the time that,” not “when” as in “those times that already occur.”  Cuz uh I know I don’t text during sex now or anything you don’t either do you?)



  1. […] simply the best we can do with the technology and social apparatus we have, until such time as the phone-device-embedded-viso-chips-Google-view-glasses enable us to seamlessly integrate them into our daily lives.  I believe that, soon enough – […]

  2. […] About Society and The Internet The Seven Deadly Sins of the Internet Age When You Text During Sex The Black Cat and the Facebook Event Formula The Seven (not so) Deadly Sins According to the […]

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